Looking At Us
                by Jesse Smith

	So here I was, shopping with my girlfriend. Not just shopping, mind you,
we were clothes shopping. Second hand clothes shopping. All the bargain bins,
stale air, old fabric, warm rooms and combating ceiling fans that it includes.
Let's not forget the cheap prices, full changing rooms and searching ladies.
	However, for all of these factors, plus myself being a guy who likes looking
through second hand clothes as much as the next man, I was enjoying myself. I mean,
I was with my girlfriend, who has a blast in these stores. Her energy sort of perks
me up. On top of that, I get to see her try on pretty clothes. She's a knock out in any
outfit so the eye candy is reason enough to go along on these little trips into 
second hand haven.
	Now, as I said, I was actually enjoying myself. My honey was on her third or
forth outfit when my thoughts were interrupted and my emotions came crashing down.
	"Honey, this makes me look ugly, doesn't it?"
	Darn, but I'm glad I wasn't the man standing at the door of THAT changing room.
Shit, I mean, how the heck do you answer a question like that? It's nearly impossible to
come back with a positive response to a negative question. All men dread, "Honey, does
this dress make me look fat?" Why, because she already believes the bad. Now how do you
deny the bad and put a positive spin on it? You nearly have to be negative just to
convince her she's not fat. Now in the same breath tell her that's she's beautiful.
	A minute later my darker thoughts were pushed ahead when the woman in the next
room over could be heard to say, "This makes me look fat."
	For about the next twenty minutes I sat in front of those changing rooms, watching
my sweet try on top after skirt after shirt. All of them SHE shone in, though not all of the
CLOTHES shone on her. The difference is important.
	Anyway, getting on with my rant...We were in the car sometime later and I mentioned
that each woman in the changing rooms had made some negative comment about themselves.
Needless to say, several had come and gone in the time we were there. Every one of them had
something bad to say about their body and the clothes they put on. To make matters worse,
most of them phrased it as a question.
	"I didn't do that," my girlfriend pointed out.
	"`This looks too big on me, doesn't it?'," I quoted back her words to her. 
"And your comments were the most positive."
	Now, granted, the skirt she had been talking about was a size too big for her.
I can also say that she said, "I like this." a number of times. Positive statement. Gotta
love her for it. However, "What do you think?" or "How does this look?" are much easier
questions to answer. I would have had no problem saying, "Nice, but it looks a bit loose." 
Or "You look great but I'm not sure about the colour..." Notice the positive comment first.
A lesson learnt the hard way shopping with ladies.

	Well, now that I've shared this shopping trip with you, you might wonder why. I'll
tell you. I'd like to pass on a few points to the men and women out there that want to
survive shopping together.

1. Ladies, please phrases your questions in a neutral or even positive fashion. Like,
"I like this, what do you think, hon?" or "What do you think about this top?"
Make sure the question is about the OUTFIT not just about YOU. None of this, "Does
this make me look fat?" 
Trust me, you're beautiful, its the clothes that are in question.

2. Guys, always be positive. If you have something negative to say, make sure it's after
or between positive comments. "I like that colour. It looks a little tight, but it shows
off your legs really well."
That way the lady knows you love her. You like her style. You just don't like the clothes.

3. Ladies. We men don't like looking at clothes. We DO however, like looking at you.
So if you could find something sexy or sweet, please try it on. I haven't been in a second
hand clothing store yet that didn't have a languier bin. It'll make us happy and
we'll want to come back more. Just one or two makes it worth the while.

4. Guys, remember that clothes shopping isn't death row. It isn't prison. Try to look at
it as a positive experience. Pretty, cheap clothes and a happy partner are an hour away
if you keep a smile on your face.

5. Ladies, know what all guys will love you for on these trips? First is briefness. In and
out in half and hour and we're happy. Twenty minutes is about attention-span length. So
we'll probably like two short trips than one long one.
Oh, and the second? Fashion shows. All guys love fashion shows. So show us some of that
sexy confidence and strut your stuff. Come on out and spin, pose and wink. I personally
love having my own model. I'm sure your man will too.

	Happy shopping.